Reconciliation in Sri Lanka

I attended my first Hindu wedding ceremony last weekend after travelling roughly 400km, north to Jaffna. It was my first time in the Northern Province of Sri Lanka, where a three decade long war was fought. The feeling in being able to travel to the north and seeing a part of the country I have never seen before was overwhelming. But that is left for another blog post. 

Everyone keeps talking about how so much needs to be done for the people in the North; the people who have come out of living their lives in the conflict zone. I agree there's lots to be done, naturally the area witnessed one of the most devastating wars at the time. I will not  go in to details of what happened during the war etc. 

What I want to cover here is what's going on now; the reconciliation process and the development process. We all know or rather are of the understanding that the Government of Sri Lanka along with other friendly nations and IGOs conducting projects in this region to develop it, from de-mining to developing infrastructure and the road network. This is to give the people there a chance to live a normal life. Leave what these organisations are doing there aside for a moment, there's more we, as citizens of this country can do to promote reconciliation. 

rec·on·cile

  [rek-uhn-sahyl]  verb, rec·on·ciled,rec·on·cil·ing.

verb (used with object)

1.

to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.

2.

to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.

3.

to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).

4.

to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.

5.

to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).

I think I've beat about the bush enough. Let me get back to the wedding story. :) So at this wedding-my first Hindu wedding- I learned a lot just by being a guest. 

Seated in our designated seats, my friends and I observed the customary rituals. We were in awe at some of the practices. I have to be honest, we did feel a little self-conscious for the obvious reason that we were the only ones alien there. Alien in the sense that we were sort of foreign; not from the Northern Province or the Tamil ethnicity. My batchmates, lecturers and I were given special treatment. Needless to say this heightened our presence there while making us feel special. 

Another thing that caught my attention was that my friend's family and everyone else who was present there was unsure as to how to respond to us. It was like they were not accustomed to non-Tamils being present at their functions. However, I saw the appreciation in their faces. Appreciation that a group of Sinhalese friends of the groom had traveled to be a part of the couple's special day. I saw understanding. Understanding that Sinhalese and Tamils are not against each other as some times portrayed. I guess this was because majority of the bride's side where diaspora Tamils so they probably had a tainted view of the Sinhalese. I am sure they were trying to wrap their heads around our presence there. 

I felt it was a start on my part-our part- in reconciling. We had giving an important message on this auspicious day and formed a bridge of friendship between the two communities. In my personal capacity, I felt that I had been a part of a major transformation. I believe it is little things like this that can help patch the gap between the two communities. 

My take-a-ways from this experience is that all of us as individuals have a larger role to play in the path to positive peace in this country. I am sure, if we can all play even a small part like this, the memories and the feelings that are generated by the experience will erase any animosity towards the other community. 

I know it wasn't a big thing we did. But having experienced that moment, I felt peace, and complete understanding between the communities is possible. We only have to try a   little harder. :)