Wednesday 31 December 2008

Ode to the Year 2008

With friends and family
Approached the crack of dawn.
Greeting it with new hope and love.
And ensuring that music and entertainment was to follow.

As books and pens did stack up high,
Pressure and boredom often came at equal stride.
When the going got tough
Friends came to be my shadow.

Many late nights and a vacant home, did follow
When I found I was never home!
Sleep deprived by last minute studying, assignments
And chatting with friends!

Morning, noon and night
Time did not seem to matter,
The days blended in to one,
Each quickly flowing by.

Exams and assignments
Stuck under the heavy load of books.
Seemed never ending,
Words upon the brain.

Parties, get togethers,
Meeting friends from long ago.
Happy times, with music
Binding and keeping the momento.

New friends, realities
Secrets, all hushed up.
Excitement and hopes, all
Kept bundled up in one balloon bag.

Tears, buckets full of them
Enough to water a garden - I should say-
Shared throughout the year
With my dear friends.

Sadness, sometimes too much to handle,
Even life threatening - I should say-
Survived them all, somehow
Worrying loved ones around.

Parties, parties, and more parties,
Breaking all late night time limits!
Being someone I never was,
Discovering a new me!

Adventure, depth
Seeking the unseekable,
Defining moments of what life would be.

Learning to choose carefully,
Understanding what it could be.
Knowing right from wrong
And the importance it brings.

Being believed in
And taken to higher limits.
Friends who just don't take a 'no' for an answer.
But keep pushing me forward, "just because you can" they say.

Loved ones having faith in me
Putting me to the test,
Showing me, with a guiding hand
That everything will be alright.

Enjoyment, tons of it
Fun times and good memories to last a life time,
All gathered during this year
During a very short time.

Dealing with new levels of patience,
Giving a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.
Late night counselling sessions,
Some I will never forget!

Letters, emails, chats - some miles long-
All to keep the friendship or
Sometimes my sanity together,
All sweet and strong!

Best friends, clinging tighter
Holding and cherishing each moment spent together.
Hoping and praying that the bond will stay, forever.

Loving and being loved,
Giving and taking
Reaching a new level of understanding
A new experience, altogether.

This year has flown by, like no other
Instilling many wonderful memories,
Lessons worth lifetimes
And friendships to be kept forever.

Though hardships have been many
The joyous moments have outshone them all.
And in musical harmony
Close the curtains to this brilliant year!

Thursday 27 November 2008

Because of You

Because of you I feel safe,
Yet you bring insecurity to me.
Because of you I feel the love,
Yet you manage to 'unlove' me.

Because of you I carry this weight around,
Feeling like my heart will explode.
With love, uncertainty, care and security,
Yet, you make me feel unworthy.

Because of you I have not a care in the world,
Yet, 'coz of that, I'm in danger.
I despise you for making me feel this way,
My heart is yet to realise you're unworthy of my feelings.

I Miss You

Shining bright
The sun up above,
Days go by
Without any means....
Things to do,yet seems unimportant
Questions,
Millions, as they seem...
Wonder,
Where you are...
'Coz I miss you...

At Peace

I'm at peace with myself
For having told you
What I feel.

I know of no regrets
As I feel lighter at heart.

I hope our friendship will not change.
That you wont look at me like I'm tainted.
Coz I value your friendship.

I will bare whatever changes
That may come,
With your attitude towards me.
I can't help that.

Yet again I say I know of no regrets
Coz I feel at peace with myself.

I know you're at shock,
But am sorry it wasn't intentional.
It just happened to be.

Finally I say I know of no regrets
As I can sleep in peace.
Without you i my dreams.

Yet, I want you to know,
I don't hate you or despise you.
I am still your ever loving friend,
As always.

Love you loads......

Note : After many sleepless nights in wanting a way to put my thought to words, today however i succeeded. I don't see it as the best of the works, but I guess I did some justice to myself. I just want to sy I feel free and I value your friendship still more, even after what happened.Thank you for everything!

Saturday 20 September 2008

Shadow


I don't think of you much

But I know you are there,

Closer to me

More than anyone could be.


Thy walk is such grace

Sometimes I wish I were you.


Thy beauty is astonishing


That I forget, we are but one!





When seeking comfort


I almost forget you.


Thou art like me,


Coz thou art my shadow!

Better In Time

Heart broken to a million pieces
You think you will never love again.
With a stroke of a paint brush
It all begins to change.

The gloomy days you thought will follow,
Happen to fade away.
And the bright light of many a loved one
Begins to show its face.

One heart has let you down,
And you think that is the end.
But when you feel the love of them all,
You know it all gets better in time.

Another Day

The concern in her voice,
The helplessness in his,
The hurt and betrayal in another
Is what I came to see.

Anger in her voice
While I test her patience.
Making another scared,
While i cry out desperately.

I came to realise
All is not at end.
When looking around me
I will find the beginnings,
For another day!

*** I know I have not done justice to this poem in trying to express what I really want to and have to say. What I truly wanted to convey is that I'm grateful for all of you, who stood by me, during some very dark days, and helped bring the light back into my life. I'm eternally indebted for that!I also want all of you to know that your love and concern has touched me greatly and I truly hope that the light which is alive in m now will glow for many years to come.I want to say thank you and that I' truly touched by the love and that I'm lucky to have such supportive friends surrounding me!!

THANK YOU & LOVE YOU ALL!! ***

Friday 1 August 2008

Testing My Patience

What Am I to do when I am hurt??
Cuddle up, hug myself and cry so on one can see me,
Or tell those who hurt me , what I feel?

What am I to do when I see no hope?
Listen to those who say that everything will be alright
Or make my own decision?

What do I do when life is all messed up and I see no way out?
Do I try to sit and untangle it
Or just give up and move on?

Tell me what I should do
Or maybe not do.
Because my patience is tested and
I am running short of hope!

Expectations

They expect me to lie
When am to tell the truth.
They expect me to know everything,
When I am still but young.
They expect me to be strong
and feeling less,
When in reality, I hurt a lot.
What do they want from me?
What do they expect me to be?
Obviously, something that am not!
Anything but me!

Realisation

I see no reason
To go on, feeling what I feel.
There's no hope for the future,
At least, for a future together!

Though I know, however much I say,
I will always have these feelings with me.
Yet, having realized I see it is
Only what I want to see, not the truth!

I was hoping all this time,
Some may call it dreaming.
While in reality, it was never meant to be...
Finally I came to realize, the truth!

Saturday 24 May 2008

I wish I were Something


I wish I were a rock
I wish I were a stone

I wish I were something

With feelings not.


I wish I were a tree

I wish I were a vine

I wish I were something
With feelings not.


I wish I were a bat

I wish I were butterfly

So I can be deaf and blind

To all that surrounds me.


I wish I were a bird

I wish I were a fish

I wish I were anything

But a human being!

Beneath It

She smiles her 'sun shine smile'
Laughs till she is out of breath;
But beneath it, you can see the sadness.

She helps people,

Goes about her work;

But beneath it,
you can see she m
isses someone.
She cares for her friends,

Tries to make a difference;

But beneath it, she is longing for a kind word.

She maintains confidence,
Her head held high;

Bu
t beneath it, she seeks support.

Awed


Though annoying he can be
There are times I simply treasure.

A day spent with him,
Is in laughter.
Rest assured!

A little painting he has drawn,
"Akki" he calls out

Shows me his 'little effort'
And asks, "can i send this to you?"

I merely smiled and thought how idiotic.
But to see, he had taken time

To draw his thoughts

And kindly bestowed them to me!

I felt very proud I must say
To have my little brother
Gifting his treasure to me.....

Sunday 4 May 2008

Wish

Wish could tell you
what you mean to me.
Wish could tell you
to solve all my life's confusion.
Wish could tell you
about everything.
Wish could tell you
to be with me.

Untitled

Jump at the slightest things I use not to,
Only thus for a few months,
Came uneasiness of what I were not...
Patience of which once I were,
Left, left me alone.
Don't know why.
Gain it,
I'll have to,
But to cure me of .... save it!
It's hard in a place of new,
Make new of everyday things it is,
They know not how it feels,
Yet seem to, only pretend of it.
Why thus, should it be,
no more.
End, why not, all of this??
But let... let it be stronger,
It so at the golden thread,
Lined in red......
Not asking for more,
Even if wanted,
Not to pursue,
To become.
What??
Life's no more.
Yet no one knows.
Take it, it is of me,
Of what I want most.
Understand, most useful it is for me.
Don't. Don't go,
Please stay here with me....

Forgive Me

This was the first time it happened between us
I'm sorry I caused you the pain
You were hurt real bad, that I saw
After which I didn't know what to do.

I never meant to hurt you as I did.
It was all unconsciously done
I am really sorry for what I said to you
So please forgive me, for what I said to you.

You cried long hours and never spoke
You were disturbed very much at your heart.
I ask forgiveness from you whole heartedly
For I'm sorry for what I said to you.

You were cold to me and it was icy between us.
I've never seen you all mad like this
Your forgiveness will silence me about this
And I'm sorry I'll never speak to you.

Myself

I'm a lonely star, that shines alone
In this deep dark world
I live alone, all alone
I've no one here, only me for myself.

Something tells me that it is wrong here
There's nobody except for myself
It was lonely then, now i've fixed myself
Adjusted myself to what they want me to be.

There are many things that ought to be fixed
For I am only here for myself
People change but the never, never understand

I think out loud for me to hear
What I have got to tell myself
Then I know that I will never go wrong.

No one here, only me for myself.

Nothing

There's nothing there to see
People around the world come to see
Life is like a circle, just as the earth can be
Nothing, there's nothing there to see.

Think of the merry old days
People come to have fun
Joy and energy flow through the sky,
The breeze that flows tonight.

Fun times are coming
That's why we are here
Enjoy every moment
Life is short, too short to see.

Come and go all seasons
With reasons for my hate
I don't know what it is that I hate
'Coz life is short, too short to see.

Untitled

I am strong for I hold on,
I can be me for I breathe,
I can go to see the world,
Where I live in happiness.

Can it be that there is something going on,
For this world seems to be turning on
Th only life i see, is burning out
Then I see, there is life there for me.

There can be, no life to me
In this world where everything is free
I go on, to see the me
To try and find the lost life of me.

It's Up To You

Come on now, what do you wish to do?
Sing a song and make it happen
There are many things, that you could do.
Come on living, come on living.

Start looking around, see the difference
Take a chance, and make a change
It's up to you, to enjoy yourself
Make a difference, take a chance.

Give us joy, make a change
Give us love, for you all the love
It's up to you, to enjoy yourself
Make a move, see the difference.

I Promise You

I promise you, to be by your side.
I promise you, to be your friend.
I promise you, to hold your hand,
And never will I leave you alone.

When you walk, I'll be your shadow.
When you breath, I'll be the air.
And I always will follow you everywhere,
'Coz I promise you to be your friend.

You're not alone in this wide wide world,
'Coz I will always will be your friend.
And I promise you that you'll always
Know I'm by your side....

I Don't Know What It's Like

I don't what it's like,
I don't what it's like.
But there's something in this life of mine.
I don't what it's like,
I don't what it's like.

But when there is something
I don't feel like
Wanting to know what it is
Because I don't know what it is like.

There's nothing in this life I know
'Coz it is too complicated
And my life all the time
Is something I don't know, what it is like

I don't what it's like
But there is something, in this life of mine.

Like A Bird

I want to be like a bird
Fly away I'll see paradise
The world's changing and everything is very very different.
I can see.

I want to fly away like a bird
Free, ready as I can be
Like a bird.

With my wings all spread out wide
For the world to see who I am
I want to fly away like a bird
Free, ready as I can be like a bird...

I want to fly far away
From the world I live
To see...
Paradise....

I shall fly, fly and see all i can
From my eyes..
To see...
Eternity....

Sunday 27 April 2008

Coming to Terms

Feeling betrayed
by the trust I had in you.
Feeling hurt
because of the love I gave you.
Feeling helpless
because there seems to be no turning back.
Feeling empty
at the mere thought of you.

Monday 21 April 2008

Thoughts

The sight I see,
The call I hear
Are of nothing but you...
The touch I feel
The songs I hear
Are of nothing but of the friendship you give...
The space you keep
The moments we spend
Are immeasurable, for they are precious to me...
The thought I keep
The memory I have
Is all that I have to remember you...
The air you breath
The protection you give
Is the world, when it comes to me...

Dreams

Though life is full of hopes & dreams,
some are very shattering indeed,
They are the hopes for one's future
Yet are the promise for today.
Many times these dreams fall,
To make sense, not at all.
Through all look forward for them
None have hope, not a bit.
If only that lovely way was paved,
I'd sure love to tread its path
But for me those paths are not waken,
They are only the closed dreams of mine.

Time


Hours go by,
moments area a flash

Memories come & go.
'Coz it's lonely over here....
Friends seem miles away

Though at least at heart they are very near....

Yet, a stranger...

Among those you know,

Sadness comes over brimming

Form head to toe..

When You


When you think there's no more hope,
He walks out and touches your heart.

When you are lost and lonely,
He comes across with his hand in your.
When you look about the millions,

You spot the only eyes that speak of love,

When you think there's no more love,

He spreads his love, as warm as the sun.

When you find yourself in darkness,

His smile is the light of your life.

When you are lonely at night, you know no solitude.

'Coz he's with you in every dream, you dream.

Difference


So confusing,
Many questions,

Feelings, unexplored.

Differences great,

Yet of great hope.

I know not.
tell me,
Why is it like this?

Must I always feel this pain?
Tell me if it isn't cruel
Or is it just my brain?

Brings Back

The wind blowing through my hair,
The sun shinning brightly,
Flowers dancing in the distance,
It all brings back sweet memories.
The rustle of the leaves
The perfume of long ago
Lingers in the air
To bring back sweet memories.
Birds chirping
Frogs croaking
How wonderful to know
It brings back sweet memories.

Untitled

"Why does this happen to me?"
Is all I can say,
About the strange things that take place.
Friendships lost,
Without tears shed.
Is something I can't seem to take.
Memories come crashing
About the joys we shared;
Yet, it seems unimportant now
Since it doesn't seem to matter.
I say to myself, "I don't care!!"
But truly I do and that is why
It hurts to be separated.
I'm sure one fine day
The mistake will be known
And we will once again
Be reunited and happy.
This is my wish today.

Sunday 6 January 2008

Unimaginable

When i think of facing my worst fear,
Thorns prick my heart, coz of someone dear,
The blood drips in form of a tear,
Then I feel like running from all that's dear.

The deeper the thorns prick in my heart,
My conscience tells me 'stronger than that, thou art",
All I want to do now is part,
With all those who played the hard part.

Within a matter of an eye's blink,
All my life around me seems to sinl,
But all I want to do is have life's drink.
All this is what I feel and think.

'Coz of you

The tickling sensation,
The butterfly feeling,
I know are there
'Coz of you.

The angered words,
and the sweetened terms,
I know are there
'Coz of you.

The need to be with you,
The need to hold you,
I know are there
'Coz of you.

The knowledge of eternity,
And the feeling of love,
Iknow are there,
'Coz of you.

My Life

It's a mystery
Memory flashes,
Birds are singing, in my mind....
I wonder why
All this darkness,
All this coldness, in my life...
Someone tell me,
Someone help me,
I don't know what will happen, to this life of mine...
Tell me what,
Tell me now,
Maybe I wont, live so long...
Darkness comes,
No light shinning,
It is cold, once again,
This is my life.

Is there more to these?

Silence....
Hope,
Joy,
Happiness....
Is there more to these?
Or are they just words?
Hurt,
Sadness,
Pain,
Is there more to these?
Or are they just words?
Are feelings involved?
Is there a depth?
The question is more meaningful than the one i ask.

The call of the Heart

The sound that comes from my heart
Not heard by anyone, moves on...
Goes along the lonely road, where no one is.
The wind that blows through the heart
Only keeps it cool,
For how long, it is unknown.
Voices, unfamiliar, call on the heart.
To come and join forces.
Yet, it is unprepared.
For it is scared.