Cultural displacement

I have always found it difficult to explain to people where my hometown is. Coming from Sri Lanka, where everyone seems to have an affiliation to a certain city or village, it's difficult for me to explain and for the listener to understand what I am saying. 

When someone asks me 'where are you from?' I always reply with Colombo, as I have been living in the heart of the city for most of my formative years and I don't associate myself with the place of my current residence. At which point, people would give me a quizzical look and ask me 'where do you live now? To which I reply with my current location but add that I have lived in Colombo for most of my life. I still in the suburbs of Colombo, but there's something about not being in the city itself. 

I have two theories for this thinking of mine. The first is that as I have lived in a foreign country for a while again during my childhood, I associate a bit of that country, it's lifestyle and practices. Therefore, experiencing this during the time my mind was developing and grasping everything around me, I would see certain traits I find comforting, thereby seeing myself not liking the Sri Lankan set up. Therefore living away from the place i was initially brought up in would have messed with my childhood mindset. 

I know this is complex, but having said that I closely associate with the foreign characteristics I also closely associate myself with the Sri Lankan way of life. I think I have now properly put you to sleep! :)

The second theory I have is that the generation who are born in cities don't have a hometown. This is because the their parents' generation would have internally migrated to live in or closer to the main cities for employment purposes. Therefore, these children understand their hometown to be the city whilst adding XYZ is where my parents are from. At least this is what I do and have observed most of my generation do the same. 

This is a little difficult to wrap one's head around, especially for those who have not experienced long years in a different country or the latter, where you lived in a city completely different to your parents, or from where you currently stay. 

Homi Bhabha describes cultural displacement and connects it to broader issues of cultural identity and national identity. So I guess what I am experiencing is legit! But a lot more work has to be done on my part to understand all this. After all they say the human mind is an interesting subject to study! :)

Only Child

Dear only child
How I pity you,
For not having siblings to play with,
Goof about and talk to.

Dear only child,
I don't know how you manage,
For you are a lonely being, 
Without social skills.

I'd hate to be you,
For your parents are your only friends
And you don't know a world above and beyond.
You're alone.  

Dear only child,
I like the person you are,
For overcoming hardships albeit alone,
Without a sibling near.

Dear only child,
I see your suffering
When you see the warmth between siblings 
Something you never enjoyed.

Dear only child,
I hope no one has to be like you
And go through the world  
For this dark place isn't safe for you to tread alone. 

Dear only child, 
I wish you saw the joys of the great outdoors 
And not opt to stay in your room.
For the world has a lot to offer, not just the sorrows. 

When You

When you think there's no more hope,
He walks out and touches your heart.
When you are lost and lonely, He comes across with his hand in your.
When you look about the millions,
You spot the only eyes that speak of love,
When you think there's no more love,
He spreads his love, as warm as the sun.
When you find yourself in darkness,
His smile is the light of your life.
When you are lonely at night, you know no solitude.
'Coz he's with you in every dream, you dream.

[Came across this in my drafts and thought I'd post it without deleting it. It's from the past - obviously - and speak of better days when I was probably infatuating over some guy. :D] 

Commitment or the lack thereof

This is generally not the type of thing I write about, but I thought of penning a few words seeing the increasing trend and having to come across many individuals who practice this lifestyle. And I write at the risk of coming across as old-fashioned or worse yet, judgmental. 

So I am talking of people not liking the age-old concept of commitment in relationships. I have come across quite a large number of people who feel they are not ready to commit and feel they need to explore all opportunities available in terms of not being exclusive to a single partner. 

And no, this is not all merely in my head, and was voiced by some professional counsellors, with whom I have been interacting with for work related things. According to them, people want to opt out of their relationships, including marriage, the moment they encounter hardships. They don't want to face the challenges and instead just walk out. I have seen this happening increasingly as well. And it makes me wonder about what our parents and schools taught us about being committed to something we love, both animate and inanimate. 

I understand it is important to have your options open and experience as much as you can in life before settling down. Perhaps this will ease any difficulties in a relationship, in knowing what you want from one. But what I don't understand is why the present generation doesn't want to invest their time in a single relationship. Instead they engage in multiple casual relationships, hookups, flings, call it what you may, but it's all the same, anyway. 

What I am trying to understand with all this is the, WHY. Why have the youth become like this? And the WHAT. What made them behave this way. So, please do enlighten me as to why this happens and what causes this. Because the reasons I have come across thus far aren't sufficient to explain this behaviour. 

Achieving Positive Peace in Sri Lanka

Six years. It doesn't seem like that long ago, but some memories are vague. And that's how long it has been since Sri Lanka eradicated terrorism from the country and ended a gruelling war of nearly 30 years. 

I still remember, though rather vaguely, the moment the news was announced. We were at the BMICH, rehearsing for that night's performance at the Colour's Night of the University of Colombo. The news arrived when we took a break and was waiting for the rehearsal of the Latin dance item to be over for us to do a sound check on stage. I guess more than anything I remember how I felt and the sigh of relief we collectively let out when we got the news. I still remember us all screaming with excitement when one of the choristers broke the news! 

Thereafter the 'war ending' became our slogan for the next few months whenever there were slight disagreements within the university choir. Someone or the other was bound to say, 'calm down, the war is over.' And that inevitably had us feeling lighter in spirit. 

Sri Lanka has come a long way in the six years since 2009. But deep down, I know as someone who has, albeit briefly, studied on 'peace', that the country has more to do to cultivate 'positive peace' in the country. Johan Galtung, the father of peace studies, introduced two definitions on peace, positive and negative. 

Definitions

Negative peace is the absence of violence. In order to create negative peace, we must look for ways to reduce and eliminate violence. A cease-fire would be an example of an action for negative peace.

Positive peace is the presence of social justice and equality, and the absence of structural or indirect violence. It is characterized by the presence of harmonious social relations and the “integration of human society” (Galtung, 1964). In order to further understand positive peace, it is important to understand structural violence. 

We all understand that Sri Lanka has achieved the former - negative peace - but has not, or is yet to fully achieve positive peace which sees the restoration of relationships, the creation of social systems that serve the needs of the whole population and the constructive resolution of conflict. We need to identify and address the root causes that really led to all these problems in the first place. People may criticise me for all they want, but we all know deep down in our hearts that none of these small problems that keep arising will be laid to rest until we really address the root causes. 

Imagine a tree with a trunk and lots of branches above the ground, and also lots of roots running deep underground. The top portion of the tree i.e. the tree trunk and its branches symbolise negative peace. Therefore, when we address the issues on the surface, we manage to attain a certain level of peaceful living that is calm. Peace can be defined as 'freedom from disturbance; tranquillity' or 'a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended'. But like in any practical situation, we all know we have to address the issues that really cause the problem, symbolised by the deep roots of the tree below the surface. It is what cannot be seen that causes distress. And therein lays the problem.

But once addressed and properly put to rest, the deep rooted issues will never arise again. It will also enhance the quality of the relationships right across the Sri Lankan society. Therefore as a Sri Lankan I feel we all need to pull our socks up and get the ball rolling on achieving positive peace. Because, without which, we will never be able to properly live in a peaceful environment. True, we don’t have bombs going off every now and then, but think about it, is this really how you want to live your life? Is this the way you want your children and the generation after that to view the country? Is this the Sri Lanka you want to leave behind?