Only Child

Dear only child
How I pity you,
For not having siblings to play with,
Goof about and talk to.

Dear only child,
I don't know how you manage,
For you are a lonely being, 
Without social skills.

I'd hate to be you,
For your parents are your only friends
And you don't know a world above and beyond.
You're alone.  

Dear only child,
I like the person you are,
For overcoming hardships albeit alone,
Without a sibling near.

Dear only child,
I see your suffering
When you see the warmth between siblings 
Something you never enjoyed.

Dear only child,
I hope no one has to be like you
And go through the world  
For this dark place isn't safe for you to tread alone. 

Dear only child, 
I wish you saw the joys of the great outdoors 
And not opt to stay in your room.
For the world has a lot to offer, not just the sorrows. 

When You

When you think there's no more hope,
He walks out and touches your heart.
When you are lost and lonely, He comes across with his hand in your.
When you look about the millions,
You spot the only eyes that speak of love,
When you think there's no more love,
He spreads his love, as warm as the sun.
When you find yourself in darkness,
His smile is the light of your life.
When you are lonely at night, you know no solitude.
'Coz he's with you in every dream, you dream.

[Came across this in my drafts and thought I'd post it without deleting it. It's from the past - obviously - and speak of better days when I was probably infatuating over some guy. :D] 

Commitment or the lack thereof

This is generally not the type of thing I write about, but I thought of penning a few words seeing the increasing trend and having to come across many individuals who practice this lifestyle. And I write at the risk of coming across as old-fashioned or worse yet, judgmental. 

So I am talking of people not liking the age-old concept of commitment in relationships. I have come across quite a large number of people who feel they are not ready to commit and feel they need to explore all opportunities available in terms of not being exclusive to a single partner. 

And no, this is not all merely in my head, and was voiced by some professional counsellors, with whom I have been interacting with for work related things. According to them, people want to opt out of their relationships, including marriage, the moment they encounter hardships. They don't want to face the challenges and instead just walk out. I have seen this happening increasingly as well. And it makes me wonder about what our parents and schools taught us about being committed to something we love, both animate and inanimate. 

I understand it is important to have your options open and experience as much as you can in life before settling down. Perhaps this will ease any difficulties in a relationship, in knowing what you want from one. But what I don't understand is why the present generation doesn't want to invest their time in a single relationship. Instead they engage in multiple casual relationships, hookups, flings, call it what you may, but it's all the same, anyway. 

What I am trying to understand with all this is the, WHY. Why have the youth become like this? And the WHAT. What made them behave this way. So, please do enlighten me as to why this happens and what causes this. Because the reasons I have come across thus far aren't sufficient to explain this behaviour. 

Achieving Positive Peace in Sri Lanka

Six years. It doesn't seem like that long ago, but some memories are vague. And that's how long it has been since Sri Lanka eradicated terrorism from the country and ended a gruelling war of nearly 30 years. 

I still remember, though rather vaguely, the moment the news was announced. We were at the BMICH, rehearsing for that night's performance at the Colour's Night of the University of Colombo. The news arrived when we took a break and was waiting for the rehearsal of the Latin dance item to be over for us to do a sound check on stage. I guess more than anything I remember how I felt and the sigh of relief we collectively let out when we got the news. I still remember us all screaming with excitement when one of the choristers broke the news! 

Thereafter the 'war ending' became our slogan for the next few months whenever there were slight disagreements within the university choir. Someone or the other was bound to say, 'calm down, the war is over.' And that inevitably had us feeling lighter in spirit. 

Sri Lanka has come a long way in the six years since 2009. But deep down, I know as someone who has, albeit briefly, studied on 'peace', that the country has more to do to cultivate 'positive peace' in the country. Johan Galtung, the father of peace studies, introduced two definitions on peace, positive and negative. 

Definitions

Negative peace is the absence of violence. In order to create negative peace, we must look for ways to reduce and eliminate violence. A cease-fire would be an example of an action for negative peace.

Positive peace is the presence of social justice and equality, and the absence of structural or indirect violence. It is characterized by the presence of harmonious social relations and the “integration of human society” (Galtung, 1964). In order to further understand positive peace, it is important to understand structural violence. 

We all understand that Sri Lanka has achieved the former - negative peace - but has not, or is yet to fully achieve positive peace which sees the restoration of relationships, the creation of social systems that serve the needs of the whole population and the constructive resolution of conflict. We need to identify and address the root causes that really led to all these problems in the first place. People may criticise me for all they want, but we all know deep down in our hearts that none of these small problems that keep arising will be laid to rest until we really address the root causes. 

Imagine a tree with a trunk and lots of branches above the ground, and also lots of roots running deep underground. The top portion of the tree i.e. the tree trunk and its branches symbolise negative peace. Therefore, when we address the issues on the surface, we manage to attain a certain level of peaceful living that is calm. Peace can be defined as 'freedom from disturbance; tranquillity' or 'a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended'. But like in any practical situation, we all know we have to address the issues that really cause the problem, symbolised by the deep roots of the tree below the surface. It is what cannot be seen that causes distress. And therein lays the problem.

But once addressed and properly put to rest, the deep rooted issues will never arise again. It will also enhance the quality of the relationships right across the Sri Lankan society. Therefore as a Sri Lankan I feel we all need to pull our socks up and get the ball rolling on achieving positive peace. Because, without which, we will never be able to properly live in a peaceful environment. True, we don’t have bombs going off every now and then, but think about it, is this really how you want to live your life? Is this the way you want your children and the generation after that to view the country? Is this the Sri Lanka you want to leave behind?

A Lesser Known Yaalpanam

The sun had almost reached its zenith when we set forth on our journey to Jaffna, the land of palm trees, the famous public library and of course, the mouthwatering cuisine. Originally it was only the three of us, but we met two friends at the Colombo Fort Railway Station, from where we boarded the Uttara Devi Intercity Express to Jaffna. My friends and I had homemade sandwiches for the ride and lots of water. The journey was going to be long and the blue skies indicated sunny weather. 

There wasn't much to complain about the train ride, except maybe for the fact that it took two extra hours for us to reach our destination. But as the saying goes, "it's not about the destination it's about the journey", so we enjoyed ourselves as we deserved it. I must say the weather wasn't all that in our favour, as it was melting hot and it only seemed to get worse the closer we got to the north. The air was dry and there was no wind except if you put your head out the window and caught the breeze from the whizzing train. So we downed quite a bit of liquid, whilst engaging in casual conversation with the Ticket Checker, the Railway Security and of course the most helpful Station Master at the Anuradhapura Station who even gave us 5 litres of bottled water, simply because we were conscious about the environment! How about that for a change?! 

Having enjoyed the day's setting sun, we finally made it to the Jaffna Railway Station around 8pm. As it was late, we had a quick meal at a small restaurant in Jaffna town and head over to the hotel we were staying the next few days. Located in midst of the town it was a safe distance from both the Jaffna Public Library and the Jaffna Fort. Then we decided to call it a night as we were tired from both the long journey and the unbearable heat. 

St. John the Baptist Church
Chundikuli

We were up early the next morning and head back to the top of the road to grab something to eat. I had steaming string hoppers whilst my friends had bread and oranges. The latter was unfortunately unwell hence the fruits. Pharmacies only open after 9am, so it's advisable to carry your own medication in the event you're unwell. But most shops and eateries are open from 7am. 

Besides wanting to travel around the Peninsula, my friends and I were there to partake in a mutual friend's wedding. So, after our early breakfast and a quick nap, we got in to our sarees and kurtis and head over to St. John the Baptist Church in Chundikuli, roughly 4kms from the place we stayed. The ceremony itself was long yet simple. Unfortunately I did not understand much as the whole service was in Tamil, and my limited knowledge of the language didn't help. The service was followed by lunch and I must say I haven't enjoyed ice cream as much as I did that day at the reception! 

Nallur Kovil

We had the services of a tuk tuk whilst there and after a quick change of clothes back in the hotel, we had Baskaran - our driver for the next few days - take us to visit a few lesser known historical sites in the Peninsula. But of course, we had to make a short stop at Nallur Kovil before we ventured forth. One of the friends I was travelling with had made an elaborate list of places to visit and the first stop was the King Sankilian Statue. When we went for a walk behind the statue - an area mostly deserted and full of weeds - we came across two cute dwarf donkeys taking shelter under some ruins. 

King Sankilian Statue

Yamunari

Thereafter we walked about an abandoned children's park and then went to Yamunari. It's a pond located in the midst of narrow roads and houses. 

I think we were really lucky to have Baskaran with us, for if not, navigating those narrow roads and finding these locations between modern civilisation would have been a little more than tricky. At this point, a friend of mine called to say he was nearby and could see me. I had called to let him know I was in town, so decided I should say hi. 

Rajamanthru Walauwa

He came just as we arrived at Rajamathri Walauwa. And thanks to him, we caught up on the history of the peninsula. As we took off from here to head to our next destination, we had a flat tire. A quick change of tires with us holding the tuk upright, and we were back on the road heading to Karainagar. 

On the road from Karainagar

As we were making our way through town, we spotted Rio Ice Cream and we just had to make a quick stop for some well deserved yummy ice cream. My friends both had scoops of ice cream whilst I had a mango juice with two scoops of ice cream! Trust me; the heat makes you do these things! And the shade and air-conditioned environment was a welcome relief from the glaring sun.  

We were nothing short of sunny skies full of white candyfloss like clouds, my favourite! The road to Casurina Beach from the Karainagar junction was like a dreamland, absolutely picturesque! The long two-lane, narrow road is set in the middle of the lagoon and on one side, we saw prawn farms. Of course my friends were highly excited in seeing this, as I am sure they imagined their dinner!  

A little drive later we arrived at the Casurina Beach, which was bustling with people soaking up some sun before the avurudu celebrations. We quickly took off after taking a few photographs and enjoying the view. We bought a packet of peanuts for the road. The heat was really getting to us. 

Casurina Beach

Our next destination was Fort Hammenheil. I was more than a little excited as I have heard many people speak about this place, yet I had never got to visit. I was really happy my friend had included this in to his list! 

Fort Hammenheil

Fort Hammenheil was nothing like I had expected it to be. You can approach by taking a right turn from a little way from the Casurina Beach in the midst of the wilderness. The Sri Lanka Navy is doing a wonderful job with its upkeep and I couldn't have asked for a better sight! It's a magical place to be. The fort itself has to be approached by boat, which the Navy provides. There are four rooms that can be occupied, with I am told, a beautiful view! Unfortunately, all the rooms were occupied, so I couldn't have a peak myself. 

But the guy who took us across the sea was kind enough to give us a tour of the Fort. After giving us a brief historical description of the Fort, he took us inside and explained the functions of the then prison. We were taken in to the common cells as well as the cell Rohana Wijeweera had once been locked up in. We got to see the inscriptions on the wall Wijeweera himself had made. He had even drawn a caricature of himself! 

After relaxing for a while, chilling with a nice cold drink, we decided to head back to Jaffna town. It was a tiring day so we caught a small nap on the way back. And before we knew it, we were back in town. Baskaran our trusted ride dropped us off at the Jaffna Fort where we were able to catch a glimpse of the setting sun. Needless to say, it was breathtaking! 

Some of our friends were already at the fort, so we caught up with them, and enjoyed the view. As it got dark we reluctantly followed the stream of school children out of the fort. One among us was a Nigerian, and the school children were really excited. And they were really inquisitive of how she had braided her hair. From the little I could gather, this was the first time they had seen an African and kept asking to touch and feel her hair! 

Bidding goodbye to the school children we made our way across town in search for a decent meal. One of my friends was from Jaffna, so together we walked to the restaurant he recommended. The stories we heard of the historical importance of some of the landmarks such as of the Duraiappa Stadium, the Jaffna Clock Tower, the Memorial Tower of S. J. V. Chelvanayagam and the Jaffna Public Library filled our minds though we were on an empty tummy. We also witnessed the enormity of the Jaffna Teaching Hospital. Dinner was a simple affair with us enjoying vegetarian food. The vegetarian in me was delighted in having quite a choice! I had masala dosai, whilst the others had onion dosai, ghee masala dosai and paper dosai. I also enjoyed a glass of fresh milk. I must say it was one of the best meals I have had. Replenished we bid farewell to each other and the two groups parted ways, with the promise of meeting again the following day.

The following day, Sunday, my friends were up early as they were heading to Nagadeepa and a few other locations before taking the night mail train back home, to Colombo. I, unfortunately, had to come back early, due to the inability to book tickets on the same train. So post breakfast and bidding farewell to my friends, I went for a stroll in the market. I spotted king coconuts from afar and made my way to the vendor to drink one to beat the heat. Thereafter I wandered towards the library and had a casual chat with the security who inquired about my visit. I'd say he was a rather forward fellow! After stocking up on some vadei for lunch, I head to the station to board the Colombo bound Uttara Devi Intercity Express. My journey was not to be the least bit boring as I met a lovely old couple who like me had come for a function. We ended up talking about everything under the sun! I think they really took a liking to me as they pampered me with biscuits and vadei during the journey. And when we parted ways at the Colombo Railway Station, they wished me all the best after inquiring about my journey home from there.

Though brief, this was an eye opening journey for me, as I got to enjoy the company of both friends and strangers. The sites visited taught me that some times, we have to look beyond the bigger picture. I was also humbled by the kindness of strangers and the wealth of knowledge one can gain from simple conversation and faith instilled by random acts of kindness. The journey also drove home that reconciliation comes from communicating with one another and minute acts to promote it will go a long way. I don’t know who the lovely old couple are, but I know their story as they do mine. So I close my eyes for the day thinking about the memories made during this brief yet unforgettable journey to the Jaffna Peninsula. And my advice for those reading and planning to travel up north, please avoid the months of April and May as it gets quite hot over there.